| The Ferret | Really cool candidate who will give Salt Lake a nosejob! Woohoo! | 690007 |
| Pinocchio | Weird big-nosed terrorist. Salt Lake should be rid of him! | 0 |
| Rocky Anderson | Wimp liberal Democrat who attacks our president and coddles toe-headed terrorists! Booo! | 26 |
| Enid Greene | Her kind of Republican might as well be a terrorist hugging liberal! | 39 |