Hollywood Liberal Ebert Attacks Ferret! Ferret answers: Fat Hollywood Pornographers will be banned from Mayor Ferret's Sanitized Salt Lake City!

Crazy Rocky Anderson Awards Benefits to Gay and Lesbian Domestic Partners! Ferret Responds: This is shameful! As Mayor I will cut benefits to all city employees to save money and lower taxes!

Ex-NY Mayor Rudy Guiliani Anti-Ferret! The Liberal Wing of the Republican Party is full of wimps and should stay out of Utah politics, Ferret says to roaring crowds!

Arch-liberal Rocky Anderson Attacks Our Heroic Great Leader!!!!

Wimpy Anderson Apologizes for Abusing Staff! Ferret pledges: I'll never say 'I'm sorry' like a girlie man!!

Hear the Ferret!

Ferret No. 1

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download mp3 files from the campaign!!

Why is Ferret Running for Mayor?

"I'm running for mayor because Salt Lake City has been run by a tree-hugging, radical, hippy liberal for too long.

"Our city has wasted taxpayer money on frivolous projects like the so-called Big Nose Division! It has supported lawless and large-nosed vigilantes who terrify our citizenry with their big nostrils for too long!

"It's time to return conservative compassion to our government.

"Help me give this city a nose job! Vote for me and a Saner Sanitized Salt Lake City!"

--- Your Friend, The Ferret

Everyone Wants Ferret for Mayor!!
Ferret discusses freedom, liberty, economic responsibility, and liberal wingnut Rocky Anderson with his friends...
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